...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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