This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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