I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
