Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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