eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
