The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize