My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize