yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
