So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
