I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
