You just made me feel so damn special
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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