Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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