Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
