it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
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