He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
