Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
