stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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