it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
