He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
