can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
mondays should just be called national damage control day
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
