thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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