woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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