i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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