If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
