I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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