It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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