i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
