so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
