Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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