Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
