Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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