Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
