I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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