Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
