Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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