we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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