Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I am midnight drunk by noon
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
