Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize