What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
