I could make wine with my vomit
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
