i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize