Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
