how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
