you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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