U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
