Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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