Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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