At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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