saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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