at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
