Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Randomize
