Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
