after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I need a beard to bite.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Randomize
