I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
