does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It's just like the Real World with babies
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
