Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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