exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
