i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
