I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
No subtext here. People are naked.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
