did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize