my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Sober January is a disaster.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize