oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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