i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
